Waiting For Grace: We Said “Yes”

I haven’t done any writing about our infertility journey on the blog in a while. All of my writing has been out of the spotlight of the internet; I’ve taken the “Waiting for Grace” series and I’ve been working on it, turning it into a book that I hope to have published this year. That’s one of my gigantic goals for 2013.

I have another gigantic goal for 2013 that I have alluded to, but I haven’t told you about yet.

In the past few posts I’ve talked a lot about 2012 being a transition year for me and for Aaron.

I’ve talked about how 2013 has a lot of amazing things in store for our family.

Today I’m here to tell you what that is….

Aaron and I are adopting!

For the past year, the Lord has been doing some serious work in our hearts as we have gone through our painful struggle with infertility. For the past year we haven’t been to the doctor and haven’t done any fertility treatments. We were to the point where we tried everything and IVF (in-vitro fertilization) was our only option. Because that process costs a ton of money and we didn’t want to finance a penny of it, we had to rely on studies to help lower the cost of treatment. We spent 9 months of 2012 waiting for an IVF study to open up, which it eventually did but we didn’t qualify for. Even though that wait and rejection was painful, we believe that God hit those breaks for a reason; A lot of heart-molding happened in that waiting time during 2012. A supernatural peace came over us, and our faith and hope in in the Lord and his plan for our lives has grown stronger than ever.

During last year it has been put deep within our hearts to become adoptive parents.

Before we got married and even into our marriage we had always said that we were open to adoption. It was on our hearts. That was when the subject of adoption was just an idea, a romanticized notion of “saving” a child that needs a home. However, over the past year the Lord has done an amazing work in our hearts. For us, it’s not just about having children from my womb. It’s about having a family – no matter how that family comes about.

Just like a person is called to become a missionary, or a preacher, we have been called to adopt a child (or children) into our family. In seeking after the Lord and following this calling on our lives, he has opened our eyes at how much the subject of adoption is talked about in the Bible in the stories of Moses, Esther, and even Jesus. What we love is how we are all adopted into the Kingdom of God no matter what our background. The love that the Father has for us that he would adopt us into his kingdom, creates an unignorable stirring in our hearts for the children he has planned for our family.

We KNOW it’s what we are here for. We know that it’s the plan God had all along for our family. And this will sound crazy to some people but it makes us grateful that he’s given us a “no” for 2.5 years of trying on our own, to make us come to the realization that this is what we are meant to do right now in our lives. Adoption for us was never a second option “in case” we couldn’t have our own kids. We knew all along we would adopt. We still have faith and believe that we’ll have our biological children. However, the wait through infertility has just given us faith and peace to realize that our family doesn’t have to come together in the order that we had thought it would happen.

Don’t get me wrong, the hurt from infertility still hurts and it still cuts deep at times. But through that hurt, it brought us NOT to a place of defeat, but to a place of surrender. And that’s the most peaceful, confident place we’ve ever been.

A place where we told God, “You know what we need more than we do.” So here we are, putting every ounce of faith in the perfect plan God has for us and believing that he will fulfill the desire of our hearts to become parents, no matter how it’s supposed to happen. We are still believing that we will be pregnant, only now we have two desires…our biological babies and our adopted babies. So this is us saying, “YES” to God, letting go of OUR plans, and completely handing over our desire for parenthood to the plan God has for us through adoption. We believe that he has amazing plans in store for us; more than we could ever DREAM or IMAGINE (Eph 3:20).

Aaron and I feel as though we’re telling you we’re expecting; not because of a baby growing inside of me, but because of our child that’s growing inside our hearts, a child we haven’t met yet. It’s our child that won’t come from me, but was specifically placed on the planet to become a part of our little family. A child that will have an incredible story of how they were specifically and especially chosen to become a Bunker. A child that will be loved unconditionally and with the same kind of love as though we had given birth to them.

We’re excited to share this news because we want you to be there right along with us, to pray with us, to have hope with us, and to support us. And for our family and dear friends, we’re excited to have your love for our kids grow in your heart, just as it has been in ours.

But right now we’re still in the absolute beginning stages. We don’t expect this process to go quickly and in some ways we know it could feel a lot like the waiting through infertility. Right now we’re taking a class, doing tons of research, reading books, getting our records in order, saving pennies, brainstorming fundraising, and constantly listening closely for the Holy Spirit to guide our steps. A good friend of mine always advises, “Be led by peace” and that has become our motto.

It’s hard to write about all that is in my (our) heart in one blog post because there is so much more to the story. I have SO much more to talk about – Including how Aaron and I came to this decision separately and as a couple, the financial aspect of adoption, how we’re still deciding which route to take, how we’ve stopped fertility treatments, and oh-so-much more.

That’s why I’m thankful for this little space. Because I can keep coming back to write about it. And I for sure will. I wrote this post a few weeks ago about being vulnerable. While I still keep things private, I’m excited that this news is out there so y’all can follow along in our journey!

So while Waiting for Grace is still all about finding hope during the wait through infertility, it now has this new chapter for adoption!

___

If you have gone through the adoption process I’m incredibly interested in hearing your story. Feel free to leave a comment (if you feel comfortable) or shoot me an email at {hannah@hannahbunker.com}. We’re always open to learn and gain wisdom from those who have been through the process, as well as research resources that are given to us. Plus, I ALWAYS LOVE hearing peoples’ stories!

  • Rachel - Oh Hannah, this makes me SO happy. What a lucky child to have parents who love them so much already! You guys are going to be the best. And I love your perspective on it! Congrats, friend. ReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Yay! What an exciting step!! 🙂 As you know, we have adopted our sweet baby boy and we are open to ANY and ALL questions! You can get most of our story on our blog, but you can email me anytime about anything at lareinaisabel at gmail dot com. 🙂 Our son was through domestic infant adoption and we're praying about pursuing international adoption in the coming year or two. 🙂 ReplyCancel

  • Maddy - I'm so happy for you! I love what you wrote: it brought us NOT to a place of defeat, but to a place of surrender. Surrendering to God's will is never easy, but it does bring peace. Best wishes on this journey! I will be following along because adoption has always been something I've considered. Looking forward to hearing all about it right from the beginning. ReplyCancel

  • Urban Wife - You have such a wonderful perspective! Congratulations on starting this process. It will be great to read along. Praying for y'all. 🙂

    (P.s. I'm a regular reader but rarely comment – my apologies!) ReplyCancel

  • Alex Dorman - SO cool! Congratulations! ReplyCancel

  • Caroline Downing Ber - Beautiful! Congratulations to you and Aaron 😀 ReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth M - I am giddy with excitement for two of the most loving, gentle, humble and wise people I know! But MORE thrilled for the baby that God has already chosen to be a Bunker! I can't wait to meet your son or daughter!!! Congratulations MOM & DAD:) I can't wait to hear the rest of your family story! ReplyCancel

  • Mary Harrist - Congratulations! You and Aaron will be marvelous parents. And you will find the child(ren) meant for you. Adoptees are the chosen people. I know. I was one. ReplyCancel

  • Mary Harrist - And I still am! ReplyCancel

  • Cydnee Green - Awesome story! Congratulations!!! ReplyCancel

  • Rachel Phillips Bray - You two are such beautiful people!!! Blessings upon blessings to you and your growing family. ReplyCancel

  • Lecie Rompage - So excited for you guys!! ReplyCancel

  • JoAnn Peretti Heath - Great news indeed! A friend told me yesterday of their plans to adopt a sibling group through embryo adoption; I also have friends who foster adopt and a cousin who adopted from Ethopia. You are in good company. Looking forward to hearing more as the plans unfold for you and Aaron and the future little Bunkers! ReplyCancel

  • Lindsey Carroll-Kimb - Just wanted to share that my church has an amazing adoption program. Its called Legacy 685. They help through the entire process as well as financial assistance for those who need it. You can check it out at houstonsfirst.org/legacy685 May God bless you and Aaron! ReplyCancel

  • Clyta Foster Harris - What great news! You shared her story with me after we lost Will. ReplyCancel

  • Jake - Hannah,

    This is too cool. Really encouraging to read this, this morning. I love seeing how open you both are to pursuing God's plan for your lives. Really happy for you guys! ReplyCancel

  • wynne - hannah! we couldn't be more excited for you!!! gods plans for us are SO MUCH BETTER than ours & we have a very similar story. when we finally gave up "our" plans for his, he changed (gloriously ruined!) our lives! we know this road will be long but it is oh so worth it! jesus will refine you in a way you can't be refined any other way, and it will ultimately lead you to your baby(ies!) ehhhh!! excited to follow your journey!!! ReplyCancel

  • Kara - YEAH!!! Congrats. Welcome to the adoption journey! Can't wait to see God work throughout your journey. He gives us all great stories to tell from random people giving us money to awesome unexpected encouragement. We just found out this morning that a local church we have never been to wants to give us money!

    One of the best resources for our family was Loving Shepherd Ministries. They helped us choose the right path for our family!

    My encouragement: Trust God, Pray Big, and Don't Stress (rely on the Lord instead)!! ReplyCancel

  • Lesli A. Westfall - High five-ya! Awaiting, along with you and Aaron, God's supernatural surprises coming for this year! 🙂 ReplyCancel

  • Amanda F - Oh Hannah… I am SOOOO happy for you!!!! God bless on this amazing journey your family is on. xoxo ReplyCancel

  • Kasey - Ahh, I have so many thoughts on everything you write. Really. But then I want to wait until I have time to comment. Someday I will learn that I never have time (unless I make it – working on that). But adoption. It’s so exciting that you have a path and direction that you are ready to pursue. IF can be a devastating journey, and it is one you write with so much hope. (I’m sure you’ve had plenty of dark places too.) I am excited about your. book.
    In the mean time I wanted to share my favorite adoption blog with you. http://rebekahpinchback.blogspot.com/ They have a beautiful story of open adoption at it’s best.
    Also, some good friends adopted from Russia two years ago. http://itsamadmission.wordpress.com/2010/03/09/adoption/ Their boys came home two years ago. They were in the process of adopting two girls (see the home page for that post) and Russia has since banned all American adoptions.
    I look forward to hearing what you can tell us as you go through the process. Such very exciting news. Congratulations.ReplyCancel

  • Alecia Leigh - Just was wondering did you do international adoption or within the states?ReplyCancel

    • hannah_bunker - It was a domestic US adoption. ReplyCancel

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