My first Mother’s Day was definitely one that touched my heart. We had a wonderful family day which is something that my soul has really longed for in this busy season of life. Honestly, because of the way our schedules are, Aaron and I are always home alone with the kids – only home together one day a week. We’re grateful that our jobs allow that flexibility so we can be at home with our kids, but a lot of times it’s only one of us at time with the kiddos. It’s definitely upped my need for quality time.
Although it was a wonderful day, I found myself tenderly aching for women who wished that it was their Mother’s Day. I cried as they asked the mothers to stand in church. Not because I was relieved that I could finally stand, but because I wished anyone who wanted to be a mom could have the opportunity to stand. Something I’ve discovered about myself is that I find myself being consumed with others’ grief, like it’s my responsibility to carry. And when I do that, it tends to take the sweetness and experience away from myself.
So this Mother’s Day I figured out would be a balance – a balance of how to be tender toward those with longing, while still allowing myself to be celebrated. Once I just really took time to think about how my guilt and allowing myself to suffer for people wasn’t directly doing anything to improve their situation (only make me miserable), I was able to take time and say, “You know what, I’ve waited to be celebrated for a long time, I’m going to take in this day.”
So that’s what I did.
And what a lovely day. We had the twins dedicated at our former church with two pastors we greatly love and respect. This church body was with us through most of our journey and we have great friends there who have been a part of our story so it only seemed perfect to have this special moment in our family shared among those people led by those pastors.
Afterward we had family lunch then went home and took a nap. And the kids actually napped which I will consider their Mother’s Day gift to me!
Sidenote: Cason’s face in the above photo makes me genuinely LOL. He’s telling the family, “Stop trying to make me smile. It’s not happening.”
After nap time we drove to the medical center to visit with Lesli (Aunt Lesli to the kids) and to walk around Hermann Park.
If we could hang out at Hermann Park every weekend, I’d be happy forever. Hermann Park has so many memories. When I was three I was in Hermann Hospital for a while. I almost died actually, but that’s a longer blog for another day. Anyway. I remember looking out my window and I could see the park across the street and I would religiously watch the little park train go by. The Zoo is also in the park as well as Miller Outdoor Theatre which I’ve been to dozens of times. So lots of memories have been made at this park.
What a blessed mom I am to have the privilege of mothering these kids.
One thing/prayer I think of every single day (Every.Single.Day) is how, because I’m only human, I’m going to mess up as a mom. I’m going to screw up. Unintentionally or even intentionally in the heat of a moment, but I’m going to make mistakes because that’s what humans do. So a prayer I pray ever single day is, “God, just let your grace fill in the cracks of my broken mothering. Because I can’t do it without you.”
Not only was there grace in the waiting for my babes; there’s so much grace in mothering them too.
Thank God for His grace.
And for mine. (And my Cason) 🙂