My Baby Daddy

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We were at the end of a very long appointment. I was tired and just wanted to leave. Aaron was holding Cason and I was holding Gracie. Both kids did great throughout the 3 hour process, but they are only 4 months old which is exhausting even when they are well-behaved. Especially after 3 hours. We were all ready to be home.

They finally called Aaron’s name to sign the final paperwork and then we would be dismissed.

Aaron handed Cason to me and I sat in the waiting room, double fisting twins like I always do. It was me and one lone lady, who’s children were in an office somewhere while we were enduring Sesame Street playing in the background.

It was the awkward silence between two strangers that feel they need to say something to each other because, well, I don’t know why. I’m just polite, I guess.

“Are they twins?” she asked.

“Yes.” It had been a long day. And it was only noon. My answers would be short and tangy.

“A boy and a girl?”

“Yep.” Thinking, “please don’t say anything that would require too much of my energy to respond.”

“Oh how lucky! A boy and a girl? Most people with twins get two girls or two boys.”

Thinking, “I’ve never heard that statistic but…*nod and smile*.” I said, “Yes, very lucky.”

“Well, you’re done now. You don’t need anymore since you have one of each. Unless you want more. Do you want more?”

Oh boy, here we go. Reaching into my energy resource, “Yes. But I’m just enjoying these guys right now so….*awkward silence*.”

“Oh that’s nice that you want more. But a boy and a girl. Wow, you’re so lucky.”

I smiled while sighing on the inside desperately desiring to conserve my introvert energy for the rest of the day of parenting solo while Aaron went to work. “Yes. Yes I am.”

She then proceeded to ask me details about their birth weight, birth date, hospital stay, gestational period, etc. Which I didn’t mind. I don’t mind those questions. I politely answered all her questions, then…

“So with twins you must have been really big while you were pregnant.”

And that was the moment that caught me off guard. I have a healthy sense of humor so I immediately thought of one hundred jokes that flew through my head in the two seconds it took me to process what she just said; Should I tell her that instead of pregnancy, they were an offering from the stork? Should I tell her that I stole them? I wanted to tell her that they are adopted, but is that something you just blurt out? If I tell her they’re adopted will she think that I feel differently about them because they’re adopted because I tell her they’re adopted? Is there a better canned, cheesy-but-true answer like, “They grew in my heart, not in my belly” and hopefully she would put two and two together to figure out they’re adopted? I had been asked this question once before and I want to have a more philosophical, poetic answer than, “I didn’t carry them. They’re adopted.” Because that feels cold to me and I’m the opposite of cold. I’m warm and toasty, like a deep hug when you need it most. That’s what I am, people! And I want my answer to this question to feel that way, for goodness sake!

Gah! So much pressure in one simple, innocent question!

But I wasn’t in the mood to joke and something told me that she wouldn’t have gotten my sense of humor anyway. And I had already wasted enough energy trying to find a poetic answer. So the answer to all the internal questions was, “Just answer the woman.”

“Actually, they’re adopted,” I simply answered her.

“OH HOW SWEET!” she squealed.

And that made me smile.

Then there was a moment of silence filled by the curiosity on her face as she glanced back and forth between myself and Aaron in the other room.

“That’s your husband?”

“Yes.”

The dots connected for her. “Oh that makes so much sense that they’re adopted! I knew they could be yours but I’ve been sitting here wondering, ‘There’s no way that guy is her baby daddy!”

And on the inside, I howled with laughter.

“Well, he is my baby daddy, but just in a different way.”

“I gotcha.”

*silence*

“A boy and a girl. You’re so lucky.”

Aaron came back in the room and we were ready to leave.

“It was nice talking to you.” I said with a smile.

“You too. Congratulations on the babies. A boy and a girl. They’re beautiful. And you’re so lucky.”

Yes. Yes, I am.

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  • Cydnee - Oh my gosh! She must have been a) bored, b) desperately needing to get all 30,000 of her lady words out to complete her "quota" for the day, c) she really misses her baby days and remembers them fondly, or d) nosy? :).

    Long doctor appointments are hard when you are alone, much less when you are "double fisting" two very much appreciated blessings, one on each side.

    Maybe you can trade out and you get to do the paperwork next time ;))

    Either way, good job hanging in there Hannah LOL!ReplyCancel

  • Martha - Wow! Yes, you're warm and toasty… and waaaay too polite! You are my hero! That is all I can say 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Oh goodness! ha! I wonder if she missed out on having either a boy or a girl? So interesting! At the beginning I just told everyone that he was adopted (as in to comments like, "you look great! I can't believe you just had a baby!"), but I think if we're so 'lucky' as to adopt again I'm going to try to be more mysterious. Those conversations are just so awkward!ReplyCancel

  • Mindy Smith - Just had to share this. This is originally from 2009. We’ve all been there 😛

    http://thoroughlymodernmommy.com/2013/08/13/adoption-stories/ReplyCancel

    • hannah_bunker - Oh wow, Mindy! Maybe I\’ll start drawing cartoons about what people say! ReplyCancel

  • Kasey - So late on this. Totally laughed out loud at her comment. Hopefully it will get easier to deal with people’s awkward comments.

    You have beautiful babies and are so lucky 🙂ReplyCancel

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