Armed with a scanner gun and surrounded by Hooter Hiders, breast pumps, and enough stressful stroller options to make me want to just carry my children everywhere in a kangaroo pouch, Aaron and I ventured out on Saturday to register for baby swag at The Baby Swag Chain Store.
My last post filled you in on our latest adoption update. You can go read that or I could just tell you right here that there are twins that are already born and we are waiting to hear if the birth parents pick us. And they have less than two weeks to decide. We have more information on the situation that I’m not going to go into on the internets at this point, but just be praying for those birth parents. And the babies. And us too. Just for peace in everything.
In preparation for the “GO” button to be pressed should the birth parents deem us the privilege of parenting their children, Aaron and I were proactive and registered. After all, if they pick us, we’ll have babies in our home within days.
And telling you this now makes me feel a bit like the girl who is booking her wedding venue but doesn’t even have a boyfriend yet.
A little crazy, but that boyfriend will get there eventually, right? RIGHT?!
My Sass was on standby should we have walked in to find Employee look us up and down as we filled out the baby register form and marked “ADOPTING” across the top. “This is for pregnant people only” I imagined her saying. I then imagined authoring a quick post on Reddit followed by a boycot and The Baby Swag Chain Store going out of business for such intolerance. I didn’t really imagine this…only a tiny bit but not enough to stamp “crazy” across my file. After all, I’ve never done this adoption thing before so I didn’t know what to expect.
We filled out the form: When will the baby arrive? Oh, yesterday? The shower date? Oh, tomorrow? Are you adopting? THANK YOU BABY SWAG CHAIN STORE FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION!!!!
And then I cried. Because they asked the question that meant so much. Thank you for not assuming that every parent that comes in here is carrying a child in their womb, Baby Swag Chain Store.
There was no need for Sass to come out, for everyone we talked to was understanding. Curious, but understanding.
Employee: So when is the birth mom due?
Me: The babies are already born.
Employee: How long before you get them?
Me: Could be tomorrow, could be two weeks.
Employee: How does that work?
Me: It’s a long story.
Employee: What stuff do you need?
Me: We already have a crib and a changing table soooo…everything?
To which Employee’s eyes would get abnormally large and we both took deep breaths to prepare for such a scanning adventure.
My biggest stress was the stroller. Now, I consider myself a professional Ikea furniture assembler. That Ikea cartoon guy and I? We understand each other and I can breeze through the toughest Ikea furniture with ease.
Strollers? It’s like I’m assembling a 747 from scratch.
My internal stroller dialogue: Start with the car seat. It needs to be a carseat that we can buy separate bases for to put them in Aaron’s car too. But we need a carseat that will fit onto a stroller. And it has to be a double stroller. But we want the stroller to last us more than a year so it needs to have the toddler stuff to it too. But what are these things even called?
Luckily, Stroller Employee was there and was able to make out my chicken scratch description to lead us to what we want. She was very helpful. Then, Other Employee led us around and all but made us register for certain things. “Do you get commission for the amount of items we register for?” I thought. “Get a pink one for the girl and a blue one for the boy.” she constantly suggested. “NOOOOOooo! I must defy that mold!” my internal thoughts exclaimed. So I politely turned down her constant “girls must be pink and boys must be blue” suggestions and aimed my gun at the yellows, greens, and quirky things.
Said Employee also constantly forgot that I was not pregnant. She led us to the breast pump aisle and it took her about two seconds into her spiel to realize “oh you don’t need that.” But she kept saying “you’re going to need this, and this, and this, and this and this and this and this…” There were a lot of “this’s.”
Sidenote: Do babies really need aaaaallllll that stuff? I’m only half joking. I know they need a lot but when someone told me that I needed 4 different kinds of booger suckers (that’s what I call ‘em), I was like, “HOW AM I EVEN ALIVE?” Because my mom used the same, singular booger sucker for mine and my sisters’ entire childhood. And we’re all fully-functioning adults now. I may be a first-time parent, but I think one (maybe 2 for twins) booger sucker will do, thankyouverymuch.
I intended to take a photo of Aaron and myself with the scanner gun to commemorate the occasion and to plaster in a memory book some where. But between the booger sucker diabolical and commiserating on which baby gate will be the best to keep our children from plummeting down the stairs, there were so. many. dang. decisions to be made. Forget getting a sappy picture to commemorate the moment; The only reason I had my phone in my hand was in case I needed to dial 911 from passing out in anxiousness.
Most people have nine months to prepare for a baby. We haven’t had that luxury. It’s been, oh, a week?
I’m by no means complaining! What an adventure this is! And I’m loving that this adventure was designed just for Aaron and I! And I LOVED that I got to share adoption with total strangers! The first of thousands of conversations I hope to have over my lifetime.
So yes, registering for baby items was stressful because it’s under a time crunch and I’m not a baby swag professional. And hopefully you understand my sense of humor in this post as I’ve been writing. But my heart is truly grateful and excited and I’m just praying the best for these twins and peace for the birth parents as well because I can’t even imagine being in their position right now.
I’m also doing our best to not stress about baby items because so many people have already stepped up to help that I know our kids will never go without. It’s incredible to see and watch so much kindness people give. If I ever get sad about all the sadness in the world, I only need to open my Facebook messages, emails, and blog comments. You all remind me of the goodness in the world. And I’m showing ourselves grace for our shortcomings in order to fully appreciate those gifts and this special time in our lives.
Grace. We’ve been waiting for her, and she may be home soon. Along with her brother.